Playing “Draw Something” with my little brother last night
Oh, to play Draw Something with The Oatmeal.
Guilt Trip
@OfficialCANCER: Unfortunately, 97% of twitter users will not RT this for support cancer. But the 3% who do are the ones willing to #makeachange
One of my friends retweeted this today. I have a few thoughts:
1) 97% (if not more) of twitter users will not retweet most tweets, so your tweet isn’t special.
2) How exactly does retweeting that help make a change? Is someone donating money for each retweet? If so, you should say that. If not, what’s the point? It’s not like people don’t already know about cancer so you’re not “raising awareness.” You’re just laying down a guilt trip to try to get retweets and boost your profile.
3) What the hell does “for support cancer” mean? Is that cancer of the athletic supporter?
Rob Delaney: I have a free idea for the Obama campaign that maybe someone has... ›
I have a free idea for the Obama campaign that maybe someone has already thought of. Let me first say I really could give a shit about Barack Obama as a person; he’s as good as Romney for the “one percent” and Wall Street and is as poisoned by cash as any other Republican or Democrat our country’s…
Brilliant. Obama’s people need to make this happen exactly as Rob has laid it out.
Shot In the Head
A man in Orland Park, IL shot himself in the head with a nail gun and the nail lodged in his brain. He underwent surgery and is now recovering. Marion Brooks from NBC5 News reported that the nail was millimeters from the area of the brain that controls all motor function. Then she said,”How lucky was that guy?”
How lucky was that guy? Lucky enough to shoot himself in the head with a nail gun. That’s how lucky.
Megan Amram: Paula Deen’s Health Food Cook Book ›
Recently, Paula Deen has admitted that she’s had Type II Diabetes for years. Accordingly, she’s putting out a cookbook of healthy food. Here are some excerpts!
FRUIT SALAD
INGREDIENTS:
1 lb. bag of Skittles
3 cups ranch dressing
DIRECTIONS:
Mix well. Serve room temperature.
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Take a Stroll…with Rob Delaney - On Hating Gay People
I have a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Musical Theater from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts. I studied jazz, tap, and ballet for years. I’m terrible at sports and I’m an excellent chef. I think Judy Garland is sublime. I realize those facts are like a spacious warehouse of red flags broadcasting homosexuality, but the fact is, I’m straight. If I had to guess, the chief indicator that I’m straight is that when I think about or stand near women, my dick gets hard. When I’m around guys—even fit, muscular ones with no shirts on—my dick remains in its dormant state. When I’m around women, I think about my dick and how it might feel inside of their body somewhere (like their vagina; not like in France or something, though that would be nice too (I just remembered that I speak French too, which can often identify an American man as “le gay”)).
When I’m around men, I don’t think about my dick, unless it wriggles out of my boxer flap, as it sometimes does, and touches a cold button of my jeans’ fly, and then I’m like “Get back in your cubby, you little rascal!” and nonchalantly adjust myself.
Bepenised Texan Rick Perry’s been in the news over the last few days for releasing a nakedly bigoted anti-gay ad that he believes will help revive his dying campaign. It won’t, but it made me think of a story I recently heard that illustrated the mindset and motivation of someone who actively fights to reduce and take away the rights of homosexual human beings.
It’s the story of a young man slowly discovering and accepting his homosexuality and it is extraordinarily painful and beautiful to hear. I cried. What’s most interesting is that the guy in the story used to actively and publicly campaign against gay rights.
People who concern themselves with the rights of other adults who engage in consensual acts involving sex, love, and/or eating croissants together are damaged and in pain.
Hating them won’t work. That doesn’t fix anything.
So far, the greatest quote I’ve heard in my 34 years is this: “Hatred never ceases by hatred in this world. By love alone it ceases; this is eternal law.” Gotama the Buddha said that about 2,500 years ago. Since it’s eternal, as he said, that means it applies right now.
I’m not suggesting that Rick Perry or those who campaign against gay rights are gay themselves. Some of them are, some of them aren’t; I don’t care. But they are damaged by, and damaging with, their hatred. I hope, for them, and for the people they are actively harming, that they can begin to experiment with some kindness and sympathy, and try on for size that Golden Rule that benefits both the giver and the recipient with real and immediate peace.
Homophobes aren’t going to hell, like they often say their perceived opponents are. Rather they are in hell, and they prolong their stay with each hateful act, word, and thought. They can leave whenever they want.
I hope you will listen to this story, because it is wonderful. It’s from an episode of This American Life called “So Crazy It Just Might Work.” It’s about a guy named Benny, whom you’re going to love.
(via robdelaney)
Blagojevich’s Sentence
I saw on the news today that Rod Blagojevich’s wife and child (children?) wrote letters to the judge asking for a reduced sentence because they needed him to be there for them. If I was the judge in this case, those letters would have had the exact opposite effect of their intent. I would increase whatever sentence I was originally considering.
Why?
Blagojevich knew he had a wife and child that relied on him when he committed those crimes. He knew that breaking the law could hurt his family and he did it anyway. If he didn’t even think of his family before committing those crimes then he’s even worse than we all thought.
Put him away for a long time. Actions have consequences and it’s time for us to remember that.
got this from Andy Richter’s twitter. it’s pretty amazing
Indy vs. ND
A guy at work who knows that I’m both a Colts fan and a Notre Dame fan asked me yesterday, “Does ND have a bye this week?”
I heard, “Does Indy have a bye this week?”
I responded, “Nope, they play Pittsburgh.”
He said, “Ah, they’ll smoke ‘em.”
I assumed that he meant that the Steelers would smoke the Colts (which they will.) I realized later that he was asking me about the Irish. Fortunately, I didn’t need to go find him to correct my mistake because the Irish are also playing Pittsburgh.
The Irish and the Colts should make it this easy for me every week.
Every @robdelaney mention of @BarackObama so far in 2011.
Individually delightful, collectively genius.
(via robdelaney)
